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Household rules
How to set household rules after board and train
A dog can learn almost any set of house rules. What it cannot learn is five different sets, one per person. The weeks after a stay are the best time to agree on one rulebook, because your dog has just spent days living by clear, consistent rules.
Before you start
Before you start, find out which household manners your dog practiced during the stay
Crate and household manners are on the Foundation skill list, and Advanced includes everything in Foundation, so your dog has spent a week or two practicing them. Ask at the go-home lesson exactly which manners were practiced and with which words: waiting at doors, four paws on the floor for greetings, place during meals, the crate as a calm spot. Rules that match the stay need no new teaching, only consistency.
Then gather everyone who lives with the dog, including teenagers and anyone who stays over often. Consistency is not a nicety. In research on small and large dogs summarized by the AKC, the more consistent owners were, the better their dogs' obedience, whatever the dog's size. Inconsistency there meant giving cues in different ways, having no fixed rules and reacting to the same misbehavior differently from one time to the next.
- Which doors the dog waited at, and the release word
- How greetings were handled
- Where the dog settled during meals
- How the crate was used during the day
The steps
Write the rulebook in seven steps, then post it where everyone will see it
A rulebook works when every rule says what the dog should do, not only what it should stop. No jumping becomes four paws on the floor to be greeted. Stay out of the kitchen becomes place on the kitchen mat while we cook. A rule written that way tells each person what to reward, and that is what keeps the rule alive. Keep the whole thing to a page; a rule nobody remembers is not a rule.
AVSAB's position statement is clear that reward-based training does not mean a dog may do anything it likes. Its authors write that animals learn best with structure, routine and guidelines, and that those boundaries must be taught without fear, intimidation or pain. So the rulebook has no squirt bottle, no shaker can and no shouting in it. Gates, leashes, the crate and rewards do the enforcing.
- 01
Hold a family meeting: list every moment when the dog's behavior bothers anyone in the house.
- 02
Write one rule per moment: describe in a few words what the dog should do instead.
- 03
Decide furniture once: yes, no, or by invitation with an up and an off cue, and the same answer from everyone.
- 04
Set the door rules: a wait at every door, the leash on before any outside door opens, a release word to go through.
- 05
Fix the words: one word per cue, matching the go-home lesson, written next to each rule.
- 06
Post it and back it up: tape it inside a cupboard door, and use gates, a leash or the crate where rules are new.
- 07
Review in two weeks: drop rules nobody keeps, simplify the ones that cause arguments and keep the rest.
Furniture and doors
Furniture and doors cause the most disagreements, so settle them first and in writing
Furniture has three workable answers. Never: the dog has its own beds, and nobody invites it up. Always: the dog may use the sofa whenever it likes. By invitation: the dog comes up only when asked, on a cue such as up, and leaves on a cue such as off. Any of the three works if everyone follows it. What fails is a fourth answer, where one person invites the dog up and another scolds it an hour later. Keep off separate from down if down means lie down.
Doors are a safety question as much as a manners one. Gloucester's dog regulations say a dog must always remain under the control of its owner or keeper, and a dog through an open front door is under nobody's control. Make the wait at the door a household rule, put the leash on before any outside door opens and keep the license tag on the collar. In summer, with house guests and deliveries, a gate across the hall is a sensible backup.
- Furniture: never, always or by invitation, with up and off cues
- Doors: a wait, the leash on, a release word
- Bedroom: decided before the first night home
- Kitchen: place during cooking and meals
Mistakes we see
Rules break down when one person opts out, when exceptions creep in and when rules are enforced with fear
One person opting out undoes the rest. If a grandparent feeds from the table or a teenager lets the dog barge through the door, the dog learns that the rule depends on who is home, and it keeps trying. Exceptions do the same damage more slowly: the sofa is off limits except on rainy evenings, table scraps are only for birthdays. If you want an exception, make it a cued rule, such as up on invitation, rather than a mood.
The last mistake is enforcing rules with fear. A dog that is shouted off the sofa learns to avoid you near the sofa, not to choose its own bed. Reward the dog for being where you want it, manage what you cannot supervise and reset quietly when it gets things wrong. If a rule keeps failing, it may be too hard for now; make it easier or manage it, rather than raising your voice.
- One person who quietly ignores the rulebook
- Exceptions that depend on mood or weather
- Shouting, squirt bottles or shaker cans
- Ten rules at once instead of the three that matter
When to call us
Call us when the family cannot agree on a rule, or when a rule sets off guarding or growling
Some rules are harder than they look. If your dog growls when moved off the sofa or the bed, stiffens over a chew in its crate or snaps at a hand on its collar, stop enforcing that rule and call us; those are signs of guarding or discomfort, and they need a plan, not persistence. A dog that suddenly resists handling should see the vet first. Message the front desk through the Dogtown app, or send the training form for a reply within one hour on business days.
If the trouble is people rather than the dog, a private session, from $94, can bring the household together around one set of rules and let a trainer show each person the cues. If an Advanced coaching lesson is still ahead of you, bring the rulebook to it. Our board and train page lists the household manners each program covers, and the Pup Van, $10 each way in Rockport, Gloucester, Essex and Manchester-by-the-Sea, brings dogs in for Academy days that keep the routine going.
At Dogtown
Keep the house rules working
A private session for the whole household, and Academy days that keep the routine in practice.
Asked and answered
Questions people ask about this
Short, complete answers you can act on today. More in the full FAQ.
Should my dog be allowed on the furniture after board and train?
What if one family member will not follow the rules?
Do the rules from the stay have to stay the same at home?
Can visitors and sitters follow the rulebook too?
Is the crate a rule or a punishment?
More questions? Read the full FAQ
Sources
- AKC: why small dogs behave differently than large dogs
- AVSAB position statement on humane dog training (2021, PDF)
- City of Gloucester: dog regulations
Rules and dates change. We re-check every beach, licensing and ordinance page each spring and fall; the source above is the current word.
Keep reading
Next step
One rulebook for everyone
Tell us which rules your household keeps arguing about. The training team replies to the form within one hour on business days.
- 01Free evaluationWeekdays 6:30 – 9:30 AM
- 02Book a dayOnline, in the app or by phone
- 03Play, rest, repeatReport card at pick-up
